Thursday, March 23, 2006

What really grinds my gears... when people like to boast of connections, real or otherwise, to gangsters.

"You can't do this to me" (usually aimed at door staff or people they've had a disagreement with) "I know Mr. xxxxxxxxx you know, and we're gonna sort you!"


"I've got friends y'know. I work for Mr. xxxxxxx"

The implication here is that this person is "connected" and can therefore summon, on a whim, an army of tooled-up thugs who, oblivious to the laws of this land, will mete out 'justice' against those who have dared offend or inconvenience the acquaintance of this "Mr. Big". The reality is that the person will repeat their alleged connection over and over until they get bored, then will finally go home.

Big whoop - I know Mr. xxxxxx too - I've stopped him whilst he was driving and gave him a producer. So that makes two of us. And I've got friends too, so what's your point?

Furthermore, are these people really that incapable of taking control of their own lives that they have to start name-dropping in an attempt to resolve a situation?

What do they expect to happen? "Oh, terribly sorry sir, you WERE fighting in the club and took someone's eye out with a broken bottle, but since you're an acquaintance of Mr. xxxxxxx then that makes all the difference. Why didn't you mention that before? Please, come on in and help yourself to complimentary drinks, free women and start as many fights as you can handle."

The days of gangsters running the doors or, in some parts of the country, those who were turned away returning with guns/knives/chains and having a big ol' brawl are long gone, and such things only happen very rarely now. So when someone starts up with the "connections" argument to try and justify a course of action or determine a series of events, I just yawn, say "Of course you do" and carry on with exactly what I was doing before, which is usually trying to get people some distance from each to make life easier for myself.

Have to admit I'm curious as to what those who say that they 'work' for a Mr. Big would put down as their job title. "Car Acquisition Executive" (car thief)? "Opposition Concilliation Manager" (beats up rival gang 'employees')? Maybe they're 'employed' as "Revenue Income Security Officer" (extortionist) or "Leisure Substance Merchandise Vendor" (drug dealer)? Any more ideas or suggestions are welcome!

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