Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Plain clothes!!

Brilliant! I'm currently on a plain clothes operation and will continue to be for several weeks.

Plain clothes shifts are the envy of those in uniform because:

1. You have a specific remit
2. You don't have to do anything outside that remit - if the jobs coming in aren't part of your remit/op, you can quite happily ignore them
3. You can back up to jobs and not do any paperwork (unless you lock up, but if you're sensible 'backup' does NOT involve 'lockup')
4. You don't get nagged for directions, the time, photos or requests to wear items of clothing and uniform
5. You can follow people, watch them severely incriminate themselves then take delight in the look of abject horror on their faces when you identify yourself
6. You can sit in a nice warm cafe on a freezing cold day, drinking coffee and eating hot food whilst 'obbing' out a location.

Right now our remit is street robberies. Last week it was burglaries, and the week before that it was theft from motor vehicles. It changes depending on whatever crime-related word appears on the bosses 'Word Of The Day' toilet paper at the start of each week.

"God, that's a good word - lets focus on that reducing that type of crime for the next seven days!"

Unfortunately it can sometimes backfire. Last week we tried to arrest someone who was wanted, he decided to try and bolt when we identified ourselves, and four of us ended up grappling with him to the floor in a crowded shopping area. A well-meaning Member Of the Public phoned it in, and the next thing we know, comms are asking for patrols to urgently attend a street robbery in progress, 4-on-1!

Of all the jobs the public don't phone in, they'd have to go and phone in the one with the plain clothes bobbies jumping on a suspect wouldn't they?!?!!

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Perhaps they were watching you enjoy your latte in aforementioned cafe, and wondered why you weren't out doing your job.

Sounds like robbery to me.
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