Sunday, January 22, 2006
Feel free to add to this list!
...you arrive at the job they've phoned in, which is a Grade 3, has no witnessess, is not particularly urgent and they snap "Well YOU took your time!" - that's AFTER you've explained there's 3 of you on to cover the area and the jobs are stacking up!
...you see those same people drunk outside a club you're outside on point duty, who then come up to you and say "Haven't you cops got anything better to do?" The temptation to arrest out of pure spite is at times overwhelming!
...whilst in the middle of hearing the results from a PNC check they approach you and ask a stupid question very loudly, preventing you from hearing the rest of the transmission.
...when struggling with an offender, they stand by the side, then when you've restrained the offender will ask "Are you busy?", followed up by a ridiculous question irrespective of your answer. No, of course I'm not busy, this guy is my fellow artiste and we're putting on a bit of street theatre for your general amusement and to alleviate our boredom. These are the same people who are likely to ask RTC victims suffering visible and horrific injuries "Are you alright?"
...simple directions of "up there on the left" are simply too much to comprehend. "What, up there? On the left? Which side of the road? How far up? Is it going to be open? What time does the bus leave? Can you raise my children for me?"
...you get told by them to smile at a particularly serious job. If I wanted to damn well smile I would be doing so - I could tell you to stop inflicting your vacuous opinions on the police use of the zygomatic major, but you don't see me doing that do you? I'd smile if I did tell you that though!
...you get phone calls from those you've previously interacted with as aggrieved persons or witnesses, asking you to deal with their latest woe. Apologies, you don't get a personal police officer with your normal taxes - you have to pay extra (now THERE'S a thought for a post!)
...upon arrest, people assert that by virtue of having some sort of alleged and tenuous link with another police officer, they should be dearrested and compensated. In one particular arrest I remember the detainee asserted a link with a particular DCI in the force. Fed up to the back teeth, one officer brought up the online directory search, typed in the name of the officer and printed out the '0 Results found' and handed it to the detainee. He was very quiet after that.
I sometimes try to think what must be going through (what passes for) the minds of those who make this cliched claim - maybe they imagine the 'connected' officer bursting through to the custody suite, in full cape and tights, demanding the release of this innocent citizen whom he personally can vouch to be the utmost pillar of respect, integrity and honesty.
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